i'm not really very good at anything. i'm good at lots of things, but i'm not VERY good at much. but there's one thing i do immaculately, and that's mess up everything that's good for me.
there's this guy. and he's terrible for me. but he's everything i want. and for a while he was completely out of my life. now he's kinda back and he wants to hang out soon.. because that's really all he has. he's going to jail for 22 months in less than a month. i want him physically and i want him to be my best friend. i just wish he didn't have to go. he's so cute, nice, and he really likes me.
but i'm in love already. i have an amazing boyfriend who i love a lot. the only thing about him is that he doesn't like or love me the way i do him. and it's all my fault. but he would be devastated if i left him for such a loser. and i don't want to leave him at all. i just want to have as much freedom as i want for this month that the other guy's still here. i know that's ridiculous. but i wish there was a way.
and as much as i hate to say it i think i might go behind my boyfriend's back to hang out with the other guy. and no matter what happens. i hope i don't mess things up for me and my love.
:(
