i'm not really very good at anything. i'm good at lots of things, but i'm not VERY good at much. but there's one thing i do immaculately, and that's mess up everything that's good for me.
there's this guy. and he's terrible for me. but he's everything i want. and for a while he was completely out of my life. now he's kinda back and he wants to hang out soon.. because that's really all he has. he's going to jail for 22 months in less than a month. i want him physically and i want him to be my best friend. i just wish he didn't have to go. he's so cute, nice, and he really likes me.
but i'm in love already. i have an amazing boyfriend who i love a lot. the only thing about him is that he doesn't like or love me the way i do him. and it's all my fault. but he would be devastated if i left him for such a loser. and i don't want to leave him at all. i just want to have as much freedom as i want for this month that the other guy's still here. i know that's ridiculous. but i wish there was a way.
and as much as i hate to say it i think i might go behind my boyfriend's back to hang out with the other guy. and no matter what happens. i hope i don't mess things up for me and my love.
:(
10 things. any 10 facts. any 10 pieces of information :)
- i like when it rains. however, i don't like when it rains while i'm walking to class. i go to ku, and it's no good to show up to class soaking wet. as i'm sure you can imagine, it gets hard to focus.
- someday i hope to have a darkroom in my house. i love taking pictures. i took one photography class in high school and loved it. unfortunately my camera wasn't the best (a.k.a. it worked when it wanted to), so i didn't do so well and didn't try to take another.
- i love youtube. totally obsessed. i am a new-ish youtuber. i have no actual vlogs posted, just photo collages and videos of my friends goofing around. the reason for my lack of videos is because i am, and i hesitate to say, ashamed of being such a dork haha :).
- pink is my favorite color, but there isn't a color i don't like. pink is just loud and exciting, and there are many different shades of pink.
- i know i will work in the medical field until i grow old. i don't know where i'll end as far as profession there, but it will be there. right now i'm a pre-nursing student, and right now i'm planning to go to the b.s.n. program when i'm done with my prerequisites.
- i am mexican, irish, french, german, and scotish, to my knowledge. there very well could be other heritages in there.
- i love wearing make-up, doing make-up, and trying out new looks.
- i'm a hairspray freak. i love it, all kinds. right now i'm kind of obsessed with aussome volume by aussie. it smells so good, but it's not the normal aussie smell of their sprunch spray.
- right now i'm wearing wet n wild rock solid spray on my nails and toes. nail color is sterling silver, and toe color is magic amethyst.
- last fact: it's 3:22 a.m. and i have to be up at 8:00 a.m. for advising for second semester, so GOODNIGHT! :)
straight disappointment
so i still have no subscribers? not sure if that's the right word.
i'm totally not sure what is a good thing to talk about because i'm sure that not everyone wants to hear about my friends and boyfriend all the time. but i do have a short update.
last weekend was halloween and it was almost too fun :)
i'll show you.:
this is my best friend andrea. she was a valet girl. yeah idk?
i was a fairy :)
this is my boyfriend. he was jimi hindrix.
brandon and shaun were detectives.
ok. so here was the highlight of halloween.... TA-DAHH!!!
so i guess you get the idea. jello shots. costumes. captain morgan. hella beer.
all of that equals awesome :) ha.
next.
i'm just gonna do my top 10 favorite things. (in general) not necessarily in order.
clickyclicky clickyclicky
i'm totally not sure what is a good thing to talk about because i'm sure that not everyone wants to hear about my friends and boyfriend all the time. but i do have a short update.
last weekend was halloween and it was almost too fun :)
i'll show you.:
this is my best friend andrea. she was a valet girl. yeah idk?
i was a fairy :)
this is my boyfriend. he was jimi hindrix.
brandon and shaun were detectives.
ok. so here was the highlight of halloween.... TA-DAHH!!!
so i guess you get the idea. jello shots. costumes. captain morgan. hella beer.
all of that equals awesome :) ha.
next.
i'm just gonna do my top 10 favorite things. (in general) not necessarily in order.
- make up
- music
- friends
- family
- boyfriend
- computer
- twilight saga (sucha sellout i know.)
- sleep
- movies (youtube vids too :])
- cheaters
- liars
- one-uppers
- class
- calculus
- horrible grammar
- calories
- diets
- running
- sluts
clickyclicky clickyclicky
update 1.
so what's up blogger?! no followers yet.
i'm very smart and i have interesting things to say.
ok. so here's the update.
i'm super super bored all the TIME! and i used to kill my spare time by making myspace layouts. (cheesy, i know)
i actually got pretty good there at the end though. but that's just not really satisfying anymore but i do still check my layout site. so if there isnt' anyone else who will make your request, i'll do it.
myspace version 1.0 layouts only though.
the url is right HERE.
nextttt.
i go to ku. i'm 18. the name's dani.
my blog related e-mail is whylovexx@live.com
feel free to ask questions about anything. i can't promise that i will give you the best advice possible. but i'll do the best i can.
the questions i can answer best though are the questions you ask me about myself :)
thennnn.
i have a boyfriend. and he means a lotttt lottt lot to me!
i'm a quick typer. so ignore my typos etc.
i have two sisters. a boxer dog named paige.
my parents aren't together.
my favorite color is pink. yeah cliche i know. but it's a warm and inviting color.
here's a picture of myself :)
i'm kinda goofy. i like to party.
i'm sure that i'd annoy just about anyone if they had to watch me while i was alone. i dance. sing. watch youtube until my eyes wanna fall out. then i start again :)
i love life. and i love my friends, but for some reason i'm just not happy here in lawrence. so next year i probably won't be attending ku anymore. instead i'll be at umkc. but that's perfectly fine with me because that's where i wanted to go from the beginning.
ohhh shoot! music!
i love all music. and when i say all i mean it.
i love everything from nicki minaj (current obsession) to miley cyrus, taylor swift, lil' wayne, slipknot, alice in chains, etc. so yeah. EVERYTHING! but life's more insteresting with an open mind.
my playlist is kinda lame over there in the sidebar. it's just everything that i'm totally obsessed with right now.
eventually there WILL be some rock in there.
i do have another blog and it's shut your mouth ...open your ears.
it's totally focused around music. mostly rock and alternative. new releases and reviews. that kinda thing...
by the way, as far as must have albums released in sept./oct. go. you must own! alice in chains - black gives way to blue. it's excellent. and pearl jam - backspacer (i believe that's the name.) is great. just breathe is soo good. and then chevelle - scifi crimes. solid chevelle album.
i think that's enough, i totally blabbed too much. but oh well! :)
SOMEONE START LOVIN' ME!
i'm very smart and i have interesting things to say.
ok. so here's the update.
i'm super super bored all the TIME! and i used to kill my spare time by making myspace layouts. (cheesy, i know)
i actually got pretty good there at the end though. but that's just not really satisfying anymore but i do still check my layout site. so if there isnt' anyone else who will make your request, i'll do it.
myspace version 1.0 layouts only though.
the url is right HERE.
nextttt.
i go to ku. i'm 18. the name's dani.
my blog related e-mail is whylovexx@live.com
feel free to ask questions about anything. i can't promise that i will give you the best advice possible. but i'll do the best i can.
the questions i can answer best though are the questions you ask me about myself :)
thennnn.
i have a boyfriend. and he means a lotttt lottt lot to me!
i'm a quick typer. so ignore my typos etc.
i have two sisters. a boxer dog named paige.
my parents aren't together.
my favorite color is pink. yeah cliche i know. but it's a warm and inviting color.
here's a picture of myself :)
i'm kinda goofy. i like to party.
i'm sure that i'd annoy just about anyone if they had to watch me while i was alone. i dance. sing. watch youtube until my eyes wanna fall out. then i start again :)
i love life. and i love my friends, but for some reason i'm just not happy here in lawrence. so next year i probably won't be attending ku anymore. instead i'll be at umkc. but that's perfectly fine with me because that's where i wanted to go from the beginning.
ohhh shoot! music!
i love all music. and when i say all i mean it.
i love everything from nicki minaj (current obsession) to miley cyrus, taylor swift, lil' wayne, slipknot, alice in chains, etc. so yeah. EVERYTHING! but life's more insteresting with an open mind.
my playlist is kinda lame over there in the sidebar. it's just everything that i'm totally obsessed with right now.
eventually there WILL be some rock in there.
i do have another blog and it's shut your mouth ...open your ears.
it's totally focused around music. mostly rock and alternative. new releases and reviews. that kinda thing...
by the way, as far as must have albums released in sept./oct. go. you must own! alice in chains - black gives way to blue. it's excellent. and pearl jam - backspacer (i believe that's the name.) is great. just breathe is soo good. and then chevelle - scifi crimes. solid chevelle album.
i think that's enough, i totally blabbed too much. but oh well! :)
SOMEONE START LOVIN' ME!
why is it?
why is it that when i feel like i'm more than content as far as relationships go, all of the people i used to care about pop back into my head?
why do i care so much about the person who hurt me more than anyone else ever had and potentially ever will even though i am beyond happy with my boyfriend?
why is it that when i dream, it's usually about you? and the things we did. like get so drunk i could barely remember my own name, but never forget a single aspect of your life and talk to you about it? or stay up until most people would be waking up to go to work? or driving to "mcdonalds" two or three times a night, and never return with any food? no one questioned anything because they all understood, even the stuff that we didn't understand ourselves?
why do i care so much about what i could've and almost had with a different guy when i'm happy even though we were never anything but a little crush?
why can't i erase the memories of all the little things we used to do? like talkin' trash on people's facebooks, watchin' silly movies, cookin' fancy meals lol, and me sleeping in the bed and you on the floor, but talking like we were looking into each other's eyes?
why can't our pointless calls cease to replay over and over in my mind?
why can't i get over the fact that things happened and we grew apart?
why do i want you to call me just to tell me that you still feel the same way as you always have about me?
why can't i get over this?
why do i care about the guy who left me to live with all the bullshit i was going through on my own, even though i confessed the fact that i needed him, even if it was only until things got better?
why don't the stupid texts erase themselves from my mind? (i remember everything)
i think the answer to these questions is simple. i think it's just a human quality to always want what you almost had. the things that teased you. the things that make you wish you could go back in time and try it a different way.
i'm satisfied with the way everything is going for me, but i always wonder what if? what if that one relationship would've worked? how would i be now? where would i be now? who would i be now?
why do i care so much about the person who hurt me more than anyone else ever had and potentially ever will even though i am beyond happy with my boyfriend?
why is it that when i dream, it's usually about you? and the things we did. like get so drunk i could barely remember my own name, but never forget a single aspect of your life and talk to you about it? or stay up until most people would be waking up to go to work? or driving to "mcdonalds" two or three times a night, and never return with any food? no one questioned anything because they all understood, even the stuff that we didn't understand ourselves?
why do i care so much about what i could've and almost had with a different guy when i'm happy even though we were never anything but a little crush?
why can't i erase the memories of all the little things we used to do? like talkin' trash on people's facebooks, watchin' silly movies, cookin' fancy meals lol, and me sleeping in the bed and you on the floor, but talking like we were looking into each other's eyes?
why can't our pointless calls cease to replay over and over in my mind?
"you don't have to call to come over. i always want you here when you're not"
why can't i get over the fact that things happened and we grew apart?
why do i want you to call me just to tell me that you still feel the same way as you always have about me?
why can't i get over this?
why do i care about the guy who left me to live with all the bullshit i was going through on my own, even though i confessed the fact that i needed him, even if it was only until things got better?
why don't the stupid texts erase themselves from my mind? (i remember everything)
i think the answer to these questions is simple. i think it's just a human quality to always want what you almost had. the things that teased you. the things that make you wish you could go back in time and try it a different way.
i'm satisfied with the way everything is going for me, but i always wonder what if? what if that one relationship would've worked? how would i be now? where would i be now? who would i be now?
